2- Your entire lives revolve around each other.
Many people think their whole world should revolve around their marriage, but if that is the case, you’ll be during a toxic one. “The social prescription is usually more ‘togetherness,’ but you would like the space to be a private during a relationship,” says Jim Fleckenstein, author of affection That Works. “These sorts of relationships can slide into excessive jealousy, possessiveness, and control struggles. they will then become abusive briefly order.”
3- You, spend more individual time together with your children than you are doing as a few.
If you’ve got children together with your spouse, what proportion time you spend together with your kids solo verses together are often a helpful indicator of whether or not you’re during a healthy marriage.
While there is definitely no issue with parents spending individual time with their children, if you’re doing so more often than you’re spending time with them as a few, it’s going to be a symbol there’s trouble, says writer and psychoanalyst Tapo Chimbganda, Ph.D. She says those during a healthy marriage tend to involve the whole family in activities—including their spouse—rather than separate their time with their kids.
4-You’re pursuing friendships that your spouse doesn’t realize.
Of course, having your own individual life outside of your relationship is a crucial part of maintaining a healthy marriage. And while there’s absolutely no harm in each of you having your own circle of friends, if you or your spouse are consistently pursuing new friendships that the opposite is unaware of, that’s when it becomes a symbol of a potentially serious marriage problem.
Chimamanda says if one spouse is seeking out new friendships where “they can tell their side of the story,” it’s because they know that folks “who know both parties or the history of the connection may advocate [for the other].” in order that they seek these new friendships or connections to use as a kind of “haven” from the wedding. And in doing so, they open things up to the likelihood of the friendship becoming something more intimate, whether or not they are conscious of that or not.
Open the next page to continue reading.